When I got a pixie cut

poem by KAYLA SPEARS collage by MORGAN BASS

No one thought I was a pixie

In the JCPenney’s bathroom
a woman siren screamed creep!
Looked to my pants for a predatory tent
In my rush out the door,
I left a piece of my womanhood
on that white tile floor

Wrinkled men winked
as I held the door like a gentleman
It’s good to see a young man with respect
A liar who never opened their mouth

Cast lists declared me male
A moon face and backwards baseball cap
surrounded by aphrodites of hair spray and vanilla
Shoulders shook as my magnet eyes
tired to avoid sensuous cracks and blueberry eyelids
But oh it hurt
my student eyes were hungry
Woman me, oh God, please
A mascara tube burned in my pocket
as I attempted to steal what I had cut off

When I was in early high school, I cut off all my hair. With my flat chest and tendency to wear baggy unisex clothes, many people thought I was a boy or a lesbian (which isn't a bad thing, but I felt like everyone was assigning me an identity before they met me). I wanted to explore that experience in this piece.