WKU sophomore Ashley Lang met the shy and quiet Edens in fourth grade. Lang and Edens were in the same class, and since Edens was new to the school, Lang introduced herself to try and make them feel more comfortable and help settle those new kid jitters.

“They actually didn’t talk to me at first after I said ‘Hi’,” Lang said. “They would just follow me around, not saying a word for like three months. But I just talked to them all the time and pretended they responded until one day I was talking about my cat, and that was the first time they responded because they love cats, too. From that point on we’ve been best friends.”

That was a little over 11 years ago.

Lang came out as bisexual in middle school, which was difficult for people in her town to accept. Lang said she decided that she didn’t need her town’s acceptance – it was her and Edens against the world.

“Once we got into middle school, we both hit puberty like a brick wall,” Lang said. “In seventh grade, I noticed Eli wearing really baggy clothes and being uncomfortable in the bathroom. They didn’t like being in there by themselves but would still go in with me, so we had more time to chat because we didn’t have many classes together. So, whenever I had to go to the bathroom, they would stand outside the stall door and we made it a joke that they were my bathroom bodyguard.”

Lang and Edens felt the huge difference between themselves and the rest of Caneyville. They had each other and found comfort and safety in their friendship; however, they said they felt like they were stuck in a town that didn’t even attempt to understand them.

“As horrible as this is about to sound, one of the best things that ever happened to me was when I was 17 and my stepmom kicked me out.” Edens said.

Edens made the move from Caneyville to Elizabethtown to live with their mom, where there were a lot of new people. This is where they finally felt like they could attempt to start figuring things out about themself.

Life was rapidly changing for Edens, but Elizabethtown offered a welcome reprieve.

“I liked being able to live with my mom, I missed her,” Edens said. “I also have been able to see three of my younger siblings, that’s been great. Overall, the move was a pretty nice experience for me.”

This shift was drastic for Edens. They were now feeling like they had the freedom for self-discovery, but this freedom was daunting.

After meeting a couple of transgender people in their senior year of high school, Edens said they were intrigued by the identity.

“I am the oldest of nine kids, so there’s a lot of us,” Edens said. “I was pushing my mom a lot at the time during my senior year of high school, asking her, ‘How would you feel if one of your 80 million children was trans?’ She was, at first, very homophobic and transphobic. But I gradually wore her down.”

At this point, Edens said they were finally coming into their own. They just had one aspect of themself that needed to be figured out: their name.

When discussing their process of figuring out what name they wanted for themself, Edens said that you make your name what it is by the things you do, say, and accomplish. They felt this was a big step for them and coming up with their name was not something they took lightly.

Edens said becoming involved with this group as a freshman at WKU was exactly what they needed to become even more comfortable with expressing themself and being around others with similar experiences.

The group faced an obstacle in 2019 when they needed a new adviser to continue meeting. Edens knew just the professor to ask.

English professor Jessica Folk met Edens in her creative writing course during Edens freshman year at WKU.

When Folk first met Edens, they were using a different name and pronouns. After Edens told Folk their new name and pronouns, Folk said she has seen Edens grow not only into themself, but also in their writing.

“I’ve seen a positive change in Eli’s demeanor and their willingness to share their work since they told me about their new name and pronouns,” Folk said. “Eli wasn’t ready to share when I met them, but they are now, and that’s all that really matters. I’ve been honored to see Eli become more and more themselves.”

Folk was also the one to assist Edens in changing their name on Blackboard when they figured out what they wanted to be called. Edens was also pleasantly surprised by Folk asking on the first day of class what everyone’s pronouns were. This has remained a part of the icebreaker questions Folk has incorporated into getting to know her students.

“I used to have everyone do it to normalize the practice, but I found that it could be anxiety-inducing for students who used pronouns they weren’t ready to share with the class yet,” Folk said.

She said she only asks students to share their pronouns if they feel comfortable.

“Most students do, and it’s a nice opening to communicate that this is important to me as their professor, and I would also like their classmates to have this opportunity to learn their pronouns if they choose to share them,” Folk said.

Folk has also noticed that some of the other professors in the English department have been trying to incorporate asking for students’ pronouns when getting to know a new class. 

“It’s important that we normalize these questions and conversations in our classrooms,” Folk said. “Automatically subscribing to an assumed gender binary can be dangerous and damaging to students who identify in ways that may not be what the professor expects.” 

Edens mentioned Folk to the rest of the members of the Transgender Non-Binary group and everyone agreed. When Edens reached out to Folk, she accepted the adviser position, allowing the group to still meet.  

Today, Edens shares an apartment with longtime confidant Lang and their attitude on themself is now one of confidence and acceptance.

“I feel comfortable in my existence,” Edens said “Before, I was uncomfortable with myself all the time, just like existing. But now, I feel better about doing and saying things, being who I really am.”